How to keep a boyfriend!

I was pondering what exactly it is that women bitch about. After seconds of deliberation I of course realized the answer was everything and I moved on. This lead to thoughts pertaining to, what exactly girlfriend's get overly aggressive about. Could have been they've just located your 200 gig folder entitled "family pictures", that turned out to be not so family friendly. Or maybe they discovered a text from a cleverly camouflaged male sender that went something along the lines of "hey sexy, what are you up to tonight?". Perhaps it was even something as irrelevant as a picture comment on a social networking site, insinuating that any other female may find you attractive.

After a great many beers, and other enlightening substances I realized what every girlfriend is doing wrong, aside from constant lying, faking orgasms, making us visit family, making us watch Twilight, and overall just sucking the fun out of life.

That's right ladies this is it. The true way to get and keep a boyfriend!
It's very simple, all the things that piss you off about your boyfriend's interaction with other girls, replicate them. What I mean is do all the things that a slut trying to steal your boyfriend would do to entice him.
You find some naughty pictures in his phone starring some scantily clad women you may have seen at a party you both attended. First reaction, furious!

 Therein lies the problem ladies. Instead of taking it as a moment to make him wish he was dating the filthy, less than reputable slut in the picture, take it as a lesson learned. Why aren't you sending random photos of you with a cucumber in your vag, or for the less adventurous, maybe a sexy pose in some revealing lingerie. Either way sending one's boyfriend a random picture to pleasure his morning wood, maybe something along the lines of "thought you might like to wake up to this" would work perfectly.

You moronic women are letting these sluts and whores you hate so avidly, steal what is yours when all you have to do to defend against it is realize, if you can't beat em' (and you can't) join em'. Ignoring that these sluts are on to what the male psyche is all about will be the downfall of your relationship.

Unlike women, men know their sexual limitations, we realize it's not sexy to be waiting for you when you get home from work naked on your bed in a pile or roses playing with ourselves to Barry White. But having said that if girlfriend's were a little more sexually spontaneous more often maybe we wouldn't have to look elsewhere for all those things you just don't do.

In advertising you need to know your target market (who you are selling to) to understand what concepts and forms of marketing may entice them to purchase a product or service. It is no different when it comes to men and women. Men love sex, that is a fact. We think about it at least once every 60 seconds! We even have a 2.5% larger sexual pursuit area in our brain than women. So having all this knowledge to work with why don't you girlfriend's get it. We want what Ludarcis wants, "a lady in the street, and a freak in the bed". Hip-hop music has been telling you all for years how horny we are, not to mention all your pro feminist music that today elicits the same thoughts (Ke$ha you are a slut, but I still want a picture of you covered in my jizz).

All these signs point in the same direction! You are not slutty enough! I don't mean to act on the slut inside you all thats ready to burst out of you like an alien and fuck every one of his friends and acquaintances. I mean to act slutty in the way you interact with your boyfriend in sexual matters. Wake his ass up in the middle of the night to you sitting on his face. He's coming home from a shitty day at work, what would brighten up his evening more than seeing you ass up in his room, playing with yourself.

And last but certainly not least, is the fact that their are many sluts out there (because women make up like half the population) who will do all the things you refuse to because it's uncomfortable or just not your thing. Well here it is, if you don't swallow - that's not a blow job, and he WILL find that elsewhere. Won't let him have the ass, cool, some other filthy whore you may already know, WILL! Won't keep the ball gag in your mouth or the blindfold on? You can be assured some other tramp can fit that and his cock in her mouth simultaneously, with her eyes closed. We are sexual creatures, and creatures of habit. So ladies make it your habit to be a girlfriend that doesn't suck (not literally, we like that shit.)

She should have just stopped at "I'm confused"...

Whore Tested, Slut Approved!

I found this posted be a female visitor yesterday on www.relationshit.com 

"ok so i have been with my bf for 3 years now. But i have struggled the past few months...because i am a little curious about being with other people. We started dating when i was barely 15..he was only my 3rd bf..and the others only lasted a few weeks to 2 months, and we only fooled around a little. so basically this problem started a few months ago when i started feeling this way. I ended up talking to one of my ex's and one thing led to another and we had sex. I told my bf right away and we worked it out. that feeling of wanting to mess around went away for awhile.

but now its back...and worse.

now i have a thing for my bf best friend and have been flirting with him behind my bf back and the feeling was mutual because we ended up having sex. Ever since we fucked he doesn’t want to come around me and he told me unless I stop he was going to come clean and tell my bf and I think that is totally moronic!

my bf friend is also in a long term relationship-1year and maybe that’s the reason. but the problem now i am in an emotional affair with him.. I guess I should back off but when I see him I want him. What should I do?"

Another man becomes a victim of women's consistent indecisiveness. And this nicely reinforces the fact that all women are sluts on the inside. But in this case I blame the dude. I mean how can you take her back after she takes the time to locate, find, and re-establish a past relationship she had before she was 15!  She probably hired a P.I. with your fuckin money!


At first glance I thought this guy must have been a total and complete spineless, and pussy whipped bitch, but then I realized the pure genius.  Let me explain. 
1. Girlfriend cheats on boyfriend with ancient ex
2. Bitch cannot deal with guilt - tells boyfriend
3. Boyfriend contacts best friend 
4.  Together creates plan to get rid of cheating gf while attaining a great story to gain sympathy sex from future sluts
5. Girlfriend, takes the bait.
6. Best friend urges her to cum - sorry, come clean.
7. When she finally does, He can kick her out fully justifiably and use the woe is me story to get a free-for-all pass on pussy for months to come, while still being the good guy.

Crazy man attacks teen

Nothing pisses off this "father of the year" more, than a little wax on bricks.

Dick Masterson on the Tyra Banks show (womanizers)

Watch this video, it contains the best lie from a black man's mouth since O.J.

Also Tyra please shut the fuck up. While Dick Masterson is really just a starved ego maniac that looks

like a Super Trooper, lest we forget Tyra loves herself some Fiddy Cent every now and then. Sadly even Dick Masterson has more intelligence in his mustache alone, then Fiddy had before getting shot in the face.

The ONLY video where Michael Cera isn't the IDIOT!

More proof girls are morons.

Snooki Asks for YOUR help!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lsRB4wL040&feature=rec-LGOUT-real_rn-1r-9-HM

I have nothing to say except 708,000 hits!!! WTF is wrong with the world! Or maybe it`s just Jersey. Either way enjoy a laugh.

Jersey Whore laid out on the floor...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1Ykyz4lPq0&feature=related

 I don't think Snooki quite understands, that the only thing aside from mass amounts of Guido love and a pending coke addiction in her future, she may well be the worst female role model since Britney Spears. As well as the least respected woman on the planet. Congrats you're so fucking unattractive and annoying a man would knock you -the fuck- out, just to get you to shut -the fuck- up. The sad thing is the majority of viewers that watch the show are women! Still don't believe women love being treated like shit? Nothing says "I love you" like a fractured jaw, and a concussion...

Fat Bitch needs more tact in kissing Man's ass! But I concur...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYAml-X8CsM&feature=search

Thank you for confirming what men have known for thousands of years, now let me club you over the head and drag you back to my cave. Not her specifically of course, because that would be gross. And My bar is set far higher than the rope in gym class she could never climb. If that Cool Black Dude says he doesn't find any reason to show a bitch love, I'm sure all black men can agree, even Ray Charles wouldn't show this bitch love.











And if you need one more reason to say neigh to the overweight.
I give you Canada's finest.

 You'd think she was American.

Idiots, using the internet 101

What grinds his feathers...

Duckman is THE man...

Tosh.O proves women are truly the lesser vessel